Commandment #5: Thou shalt not give us the cheek on the kiss goodnight. Be polite and give him a smack on the lips, even if you don’t plan on seeing him again. Shoes are your thing, and if you care more about comfort than putting your best foot forward, so to speak, at this phase in the process, it’s a sign of bad things — stained sweatpants and Ugg boots — to come.
This comes out to close to $100 each date, at least.
Be mindful of this and, while you certainly don’t need to pay for the major stuff, definitely make a serious effort to pay for the smaller items — cabs, a beer here, a movie there.
Keep up with your date’s drink, and if you don’t want another, order a soda or something, but don’t take those lame-ass teeny tiny sips. Commandment #2: Thou shalt not keep us up post orgasm. They have an on switch, and an off switch.” Can you guess the situation in which they are “off”? So don’t prattle on about God knows what after we “release.” Let us enjoy the moment before making our way to slumberland.
Commandment #3: Thou shalt not talk way more than we do.