Tom sat across the lunch table from me, glowing with excitement for his new love. It was obvious that she had touched him and that he was convinced that this was the “real thing.” I quizzed him for details. Remember, your children have gone (or are going) through the same grieving process you did, and they may be at any number of points in the process.
So now you’ve moved through most of the crud of divorce.
You’re still grieving, but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. You’re wondering about moving on with your romantic life. Whether you should refrain from dating before your divorce is final is both a strategic and moral question.
The answer depends on how your state views fault in divorce, on how long you and your spouse have been separated, on what your lawyer thinks about dating during divorce, and finally on how you feel about dating while you’re still married.
Even if your state pays attention to fault in divorce, the longer you’ve been separated from your spouse, the less likely that your having a relationship with someone else is going to have a big impact on the issues of your divorce. Peter and his wife had been separated for seven months. Resist the temptation to find somebody who’s totally different from your exspouse.